写了一篇作文 请各位高手和老师批评指点!!如果满分20分可以打多少分...

发布网友 发布时间：2024-10-24 11:59

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热心网友 时间：2024-10-28 00:59

We can see from the drawing that the fact that the apple has a wormhole has been hidden by the seller.The businessman covered the wormhole with a logo,so that it is nearly impossible for buyers to find that the apples are not as great as they look.
This cartoon is a perfect reflection of the issue of good faith.There are so many people who have lost their good faiths. The scene depicted in the picture above has been a very common sight in modern society.The lack of good faith not only causes the social problem of food and health,but also results in the lack of good faith in many other fields. It is such a horrible matter that the society we exist in would change into a place where there is no more good faith.Therefore, the importance of this problem of good faith should be stressed.
However,the solving methods are very complex. Thus this problem cannot be solved by simply carrying out a series of laws. Firstly, the society's good mood (这里我没看懂你想表达什么) is the key point of the problem. The most efficient way of solving this is the social education for children,young adults and elderly people.Moreover,make sure that good faith can spread widely through medium as often as possible.(这句没错但是没有人会这么说的……)Finally,building up a society in good faith is not a dream any more.(我认为最后一句不应该用finally，因为它并不是要表达最后的一种解决方法，而是要表达一个结论。)

我不是老师所以就不打分了^^
有一些小的语法和拼写错误，但是主要是文章中的句子听起来不是很自然。我试着改了改，不知道有没有好一点（我并不像做太大的改动……这样就不是你的作文了~）。
其他的话……就是语句不是很正式，但是如果不是什么很专业的作文的话应该没问题的~

热心网友 时间：2024-10-28 01:04

第一句没有用标准表达方式。we can see 这个是生活化的用词，用在作文的第一句人家就不想往后看了。

热心网友 时间：2024-10-28 01:03

你的文章是围绕什么主题来写的啊！
亮出来 我们好有个底啊！